I feel like I am dying. It's like my soul is being crushed or something. I am so alone in this town. I hate it. I have no friends here. Without having friends around, I don't even feel like myself. I love Matt, I love being married, but I am so frustrated with my life right now. I don't feel like I can really talk to Matt about it because I know he will say "You knew this is where we were going to live." And I did know all along this was the only place he is going to live, and I did agree to everything before we got married, but it's like I want to scream "I CHANGED MY MIND!!!!! I don't want to stay here for ever, and ever.." I am so alone here. I have Matt.. That's it. He truly IS my best friend.. but I don't care what you say, your husband can't fill the role of your girlfriends. I miss Pittsburg, I miss Sarah, I miss my kiddos, I miss Joslyn. I miss Lizz, I love lamp. I hate being so unhappy. I hate being such a complainer. I feel more shy than I used to be..if you can believe that. I feel like I am "passed my friend making prime." I would try to make new friends, but my current circumstances don't really allow. I have work, church, and curves. I work with 3 ladies. They are all super cool, but they are older and they all have roots.. a family, a life. The church we attend is mostly old people. And Curves of course is all oldies. We do hang out with Matt's family alot, but they are just that - Matt's family. They are good to me, especially since we got married. We have alot of fun with them when we do stuff, it's just not the same as having friends. Sorry about all the rambling, and ranting. I know there is nothing you can do really. I guess I just needed to let some stuff out. I hope no one thinks I am a bad wife, or that I'm acting like a little kid or something. It's just how I am I guess. I can't stand being alone.

I am starting a new series called "A Peek In Madison's Yearbooks"  I was reading through some of my yearbooks last night and I decided some of the things I was reading was tooooooo funny to keep to myself. Sooo.. I think every other day or so I will be posting some selected passages from my yearbook for your reading enjoyment.

This is from Casey MARTIN to Madison HAMILTON. It is found in the Tyro yearbook, our sophomore year. So that would be 2002.

"MADISON- you bring CA-KE-MA to life......well actually I do, but I like youa lil bit.Where should I start??? You are my everything!! I have ahad some grrr-eat times with you!! Remember all the times we got in trouble in Geometry?? Remember the time we went to coffeyville because we *cough cough* skipped school? That was FUN but not fun consequenses. Remember how we went to walmart and we were only gone for like 30 min and we were so bored and we wanted to go back to school so bad but we couldn't so we went to the library and looked for "funny books"!! heh heh!! And we went to the Dalton Museum to go to the bathroom but it  cost like $30 just to go in! So we went back to the school and Matt had left a hot pink note and left you so we went to Joslyn's house and our parent's called us and we were sooo scared, and now we're on probation!! yee yee. But don't worry we wont be on probation next year! JK! Remember when CA-KE-MA was founded?!?!?!?!?!? And I got kicked out of study hall for being so loud? And how when we thought of initiation we almost peed our pants?? OH! I've overcome peeing my pants! JK! You're such a good friend, I love you. I know there is more behind you than that giggle box personality!! I am so glad that you are mee freeend because you mena alot to me. Even though we talk to each other about RRRRRRREEEEEEEEALLLLLYYY deep things, you still give good advice from the convos that we have ACTUALLY had! I am so glad that you are my friend! I hope that we are friends forever and that when we are married and have kids that we are still gonna be friends and have those contests ok??? I can't wait until we do those photo shoots, it'll be great fun!!! Have fun in Thailand. I know that God has such awesome things planned for you! B/C you are such an awesome person! Be ready for God to change you, really!! Oh Man!!!! It is awesome how much He will do in one month. I was only gone for two weeks and He did so much that I know I will be changed forever. You will be in my prayers!! We have to get together this summerrrrr!!!!!!! OH AND WHAT ARE YOU GETTING ME IN THAILAND?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!! A PURSE!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEE YEE Love ya - Casey Martin    I (heart) Erin! She is Awesy!! I zont want zanybody else...zhen zi zink zabout zoo I zuch zy zelf... GO MADI PLADI! POO POO MOO NOO MA MA!! AA BABA CACA DADA EAEA SWON CON UH TO TON! SHE CON! WE WE PEE PEE!!! MANEY CANEY SNAAANEEY!!!

Ok, I finally uploaded wedding pics... but they are on facebook. I didnt have the time to up load them everywhere. So go to facebook and look at them and comment on them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!